It's Friday. Sex?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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