My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
