This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize