Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
