carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
