I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
