Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
We are two peas in an std pod
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
