Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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