I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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