I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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