i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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