When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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