Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Randomize
