ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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