don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Randomize
