i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Houston, we have a squirter
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
