Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
