Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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