the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
