So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
