Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
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