he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
