It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
