Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
