i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize