Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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