I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
It's not a walk of shame if you run
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
