i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
