If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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