I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
