I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize