then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
