You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
It's official drugs can't kill me
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
So much rum. So many feels.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize