You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
well you can't waste a boner
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
