This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
