Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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