I am in a vortex of obligation.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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