Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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