I would go down on you faster than GM stock
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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