Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
