Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
