Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
