He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
