it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize