so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
