its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
