is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize