Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize