be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
it was like eating out sand paper
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
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