I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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