I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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