They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
