And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
