We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize