I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
