Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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