He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I just had sex on a roof
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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