I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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