we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
