What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
