I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
