Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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