i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
