put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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