I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
