Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize