Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
A+ Viking dick
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
