Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize