found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
