11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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